Wednesday, October 28, 2009
You like it? It was only $....
I know things are tight for many people right now. It is hard to think of spending extra money on unnecessary items, but could you spare $10 to surprise and delight your husband? It is so fun (and appreciated) to find a little something new for your special "wardrobe" for him. It doesn't have to be from Victoria's Secret. Even the clearance section in Walmart has some fun things just to add something new to your collection. It may not be the sexiest thing you've ever gotten, but your husband will appreciate that you were thinking about him and that you only spent a few dollars on it! It is so important to keep things exciting, new and fresh.
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11 comments:
This will be so super hard for me. Being 8 months pregnant, the thought of trying to wear something sexy (after delivery) is terrifying. It is a wonderful idea but something I will have to work up too.
Hi! i like this... remember our ladies shopping trip!!! That was so fun. Actually, we should do it again!! I'm not so good picking things out, but when he (Scot,of course!) and I are together he helps and it's so fun...
Karen,
This is something that never fails to surprise me about Stuart. I don't care how much money we've spent in a month, or if we're a little over budget in some places and need to cut back, Stuart's whole face lights up when I bring home a little something "special." If I say, "I hope its okay I spent a little extra money." he just says, "Of course it is!"
Want to know what is even funnier? I used to laugh at the shy boy couldn't even walk by the lingerie dept. in the mall because he was so embarrassed. That boy is long gone! He loves to help me pick out stuff, and point to "the one he wants." However,he won't go into Victoria's Secret still because of the posters and such (which I am so grateful for), but most of the dept. stores like Belk or Macy's don't have these kind of photos, so he is more willing to shop with me. It is actually a great bonding time for us both!
I'm with Dana on this one. I'm not as far along, but I definitely have reservations about dolling up my 2.5 month old baby bump with lace and lycra. Any ideas on some good "looks" for a preggo? I'd be happy for some input here, as "looks" right now, between my husband and me, are all we've got....if you know what I mean.... ;)
Kristen,
I do remember that shopping trip - and it was fun, despite being a little uncomfortable doing something like that with my mother-in-law! (For those of you reading this - YES, I did actually go lingerie shopping with my mother-in-law...gasp! :)
We should do it again, and maybe make sure we don't stay out too long and leave our husbands high and dry with the children! :)
Haley,
I totally understand what you're saying. I think men will make exceptions for us in those type of circumstances. They like to know we are thinking about them and trying to please them. It is always fun for the guy because it keeps it new and they are so visual!
I'm so proud of Stuart that he has such a good balance. I know it would be hard for any guy to walk in VS, but it is also great that he is comfortable enough now to be able to help you pick things out. (I'm still learning Seth's taste in that area - I think it changes depending on what stage my body is in! :)
Dana and Susi,
Can I share with you guys some things? You guys may never look at me the same again, but here goes...*takes a deep breath*...
Oh, I don't recommend non-married women read this comment...not yet.:)
Ok, I have to say that I don't know any woman personally who has such an ugly stomach as I do after having children. Seriously, I've only seen worse pictures on the Internet! Have you ever seen that picture of Cindy Crawford in a bikini after having her baby/babies that was splashed on all the tabloids a few years ago? That's my stomach only I have more wrinkles! My belly button is deformed, too! Plus, my body is covered with small crisscross stretch marks in all the wrong places (butt, thighs, breast, stomach, and inner thighs - ugh!) Then, with my last pregnancy my veins in my legs became huge and grotesque and my legs were covered in spider veins too. I'm always going the natural route, but I was determined to get them surgically removed if they didn't improve after baby. (Fortunately, they improved about 90%! Praise the Lord!) "Oh Karen, it can't be all as bad as you're making it out to be", you say. Well, I could send you pictures that would make you gasp, cry and probably contribute monetary gifts as consolation. :) But I'll spare you (and my dignity, too.)
Having said all that, I can honestly say that in most all that my body has gone through my husband found and still finds me sexy and attractive. How, you ask? Well, it helps to have a one-of-a-kind incredible husband, of course! But I also did everything I could to stay attractive. I cover the areas that aren't so great and accentuate the ones that I know look better and he likes. For example, after baby #2, I discovered mono-kinis. They hide my stomach, yet still are very flattering bathing suits. Teddies work nicely and you can have them in thong if that isn't a problem for you. Also, when I had my vein problem I wore black, knee-high stockings with high heels with all my "outfits" and never took them off till the lights were out. (I'd even actually walk backwards or tell him to close his eyes if I knew he would catch sight of my legs without them on.) I might even go "native" and only tie a pretty scarf around my midsection to cover the worst part. Short skirts with dangerous tops also are great.
Now, I'm not hiding from Seth. He knows exactly what I look like nude in full light (scary!), but when we are trying to have some romantic time, I try to be as seductive as I can without turning him off visually. I make full use of my other assets he finds attractive and try not to draw attention to my flaws.
Susi, one of my favorite things when I was pregnant with Katrina was a little nightgown you gave me before I got married. It was a mid-thigh babydoll, with silk for the bodice and sheer for the dress. That was perfect for a pregnant belly! (Continued in next comment)
Continuation of previous comment - again, not recommended for unmarried girls...
I hope I'm not disclosing too much or shocking anyone, but I feel like this is so important. We are the only legitimate avenues of sexual release our husbands have, so if he is stuck with a girl who is covered in stretch marks, I'd rather him see a fit girl who is fun and flirty rather than a girl covered in stretch marks that is discouraged, depressed, and not interesting sexually. To not try to be attractive for our husbands or be selfish enough to not think about him and make the most of what we have to offer is a recipe for lust towards other women, if you ask me.
And, of course, it all starts in our heads with our thoughts. If I think I am a stretch mark ridden, flabby bellied, cellulite butt type of girl, I'm not going to feel sexy. I have to think sexy to be sexy.
I am not settling for any of this as permanent. I am constantly exercising, researching into natural cures for stretch marks and vein problems and attempting to always improve my appearance. I think it helps Seth to know I am trying. He sees how hard I try and he encourages me, but he honestly loves me for who I am no matter what. He's the best!
So, bless you both, pregnant mamas! I pray you don't ever experience the physical problems I have had to deal with. I hope at the end of this you're thinking, if she can be attractive to her husband, then anybody can! :)
Very humbled,
Karen
Karen, you have humbled probably every single person that would ever read this. You have challenged me like I've never been challenged in this area! Your example is truly amazing. I think if more women really embraced God's design for wives & their sexuality for their husbands, we'd see SO many more happy, fulfilled marriages! I want to change my thoughts like you have, from the inside out!
Thanks so much for your encouragement Denise. It helps so much to know that! :)
I'm honestly a little ashamed of myself, Karen, after your story about your post-pregnancy body. Stretch marks aren't even something I've had to deal with, and yet I still find MYRIADS of things "wrong" with my body, which, basically, thanks to this form of pride, cause me to partially withold myself from my husband, robbing him of the joy of a completely confident, sexy wife. I'm TOO often taken up with complaining over my (self-proclaimed) inadequecies, and probably make it far more tedious for him to just ENJOY me as I am. In a way, it's like giving someone a gift you've created, but spending so much time criticizing it and tearing it down, pointing out mistakes, and comparing it to others' creations that the person who is the recipient of the gift ends up not even really being interested in receiving it.....or at least, embarrassed to give much of a thank-you. The more I think about that, the more I realize my husband does spend a lot of time "reassuring" me about my figure...all prompted by my negativity towards my body. I know I need to be more thankful for what I have been given (thank you, Karen, for reminding me of something that I *don't* have to deal with), and turning on the confidence for my husband's sake. This body IS for HIM, after all!
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