Sunday, September 19, 2010
Playing Nurse
Take care of your husband's injuries, large or small. My husband is in construction and is always coming home with cuts and bruises all over his body. He is a big tough man, so I don't always care for his injuries like I should. I'm not as diligent in treating them as I would the children's boo-boos. Even though Seth doesn't make a big deal about them, he really appreciates when I do make an effort to treat his wounds. It shows my concern and care for him. Guys generally won't do much beyond a bandaid, so some attention to bug bites, rashes, cuts and even bruises can help speed the healing. Plus I don't need to tell you how fun it can be to play nurse to your patient. ;)
Friday, April 2, 2010
One Little Compliment
Next time your out and about shopping, running errands, etc try to make an effort to notice one person you come in contact with and give them a sincere compliment. Not so much, "I like that dress" or "Cool nail polish", but maybe more on a deeper level. Things like, "Thank you for being so careful in bagging my bread separately", or "It is so nice to see a smiling face." Compliments can be amazing. They don't take much effort, yet they can completely make someone's day and turn a whole attitude and perspective around. Try to touch someone else's life in a positive way. Be the light and the salt!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Submission - Phase 3
What can a wife do to change her husband?
This is another section from the booklet I've been reading. This probably doesn't apply to most of us reading this. I know a lot of us are blessed to have husbands that actively love and serve the Lord, but it could prove useful to the wife who's husband is either not saved or perhaps not walking circumspectly as he should before the Lord. The same principles can be applied in smaller circumstances, too, so it can be beneficial for all wives at some point in their marriage to be aware of these helpful tips.
There are two powerful tools God has given a woman to use in order to assist God in changing her husband.
1.) Prayer - of course! I'm often surprised at my using this as a last resort rather than a first. It shows my true level of faith and reliance on God. You can bring all your desires before the Lord, wrong or right, and He will change them, sort them, fulfill them, bless them or do whatever He wants to do with them. I've realized that even some of my very selfish desires can be brought before the Lord and I am surprised by His answers. (Not always a "yes", but sometimes seeing things from a new perspective or changing my desires.) Think of your child who asks for ice cream. Well, we don't always say no, do we? But we don't say they can have it for breakfast either, right?
a. Bringing problems before the Lord helps get our eyes off the problem or the man and onto the Lord. He in turn can replace bitterness or hurt with a proper perspective. One thing is to realize that this "problem" is also used to work in your life and build character in you. Also, thank the Lord for your husband's faults. I Thess 5:18 and Eph 5:20
b. Prayer helps you expect changes from God rather than from your husband. This creates a grateful attitude in the woman towards the Lord and her husband. She no longer sees her husband's good attitudes and actions as things he is expected to do, but as a gift from the Lord and she becomes grateful towards both Father and husband. This also frees up God to work in her husband and frees her husband up from her expectations.
c. Realize that you have the privilege of interceding for your husband. When we detect a problem, our reaction should not be to criticize or judge, but intercede. A wife can "stand in the gap" for her husband. Even when a man is in fellowship with the Lord he still needs his wife's supporting intercession. Also, lack of prayer can limit God's blessings.
d. Prayer can really change your attitude. It is so true! How can you harbor bitterness or unforgiveness when you are turning it all over to the Lord?
e. Prayer is also ensuring that you are in God's will. No matter what you're feeling, planning, wanting, etc, if you place it in God's hands there will be peace, answers, blessing and fulfillment.
The second tool we have is
2.) Provoking (arouse, stimulate, inspire) your husband to love and good works by maturing in your own relationship with Christ. As God works in your life He can channel His love and Himself through you in unique and life-changing ways to your husband. Allow God to change you, and your husband will change in reaction!
In the assignement section of the booklet they advise you make a list of your expectations of your husband and then deliberately give all those to God and allow Him to give them back to you as He sees fit. I've done this several times and have been blessed to feel freed up in my spirit to not require things of my husband but just be grateful for the multitude of things I already have in, through and from him.
This is another section from the booklet I've been reading. This probably doesn't apply to most of us reading this. I know a lot of us are blessed to have husbands that actively love and serve the Lord, but it could prove useful to the wife who's husband is either not saved or perhaps not walking circumspectly as he should before the Lord. The same principles can be applied in smaller circumstances, too, so it can be beneficial for all wives at some point in their marriage to be aware of these helpful tips.
There are two powerful tools God has given a woman to use in order to assist God in changing her husband.
1.) Prayer - of course! I'm often surprised at my using this as a last resort rather than a first. It shows my true level of faith and reliance on God. You can bring all your desires before the Lord, wrong or right, and He will change them, sort them, fulfill them, bless them or do whatever He wants to do with them. I've realized that even some of my very selfish desires can be brought before the Lord and I am surprised by His answers. (Not always a "yes", but sometimes seeing things from a new perspective or changing my desires.) Think of your child who asks for ice cream. Well, we don't always say no, do we? But we don't say they can have it for breakfast either, right?
a. Bringing problems before the Lord helps get our eyes off the problem or the man and onto the Lord. He in turn can replace bitterness or hurt with a proper perspective. One thing is to realize that this "problem" is also used to work in your life and build character in you. Also, thank the Lord for your husband's faults. I Thess 5:18 and Eph 5:20
b. Prayer helps you expect changes from God rather than from your husband. This creates a grateful attitude in the woman towards the Lord and her husband. She no longer sees her husband's good attitudes and actions as things he is expected to do, but as a gift from the Lord and she becomes grateful towards both Father and husband. This also frees up God to work in her husband and frees her husband up from her expectations.
c. Realize that you have the privilege of interceding for your husband. When we detect a problem, our reaction should not be to criticize or judge, but intercede. A wife can "stand in the gap" for her husband. Even when a man is in fellowship with the Lord he still needs his wife's supporting intercession. Also, lack of prayer can limit God's blessings.
d. Prayer can really change your attitude. It is so true! How can you harbor bitterness or unforgiveness when you are turning it all over to the Lord?
e. Prayer is also ensuring that you are in God's will. No matter what you're feeling, planning, wanting, etc, if you place it in God's hands there will be peace, answers, blessing and fulfillment.
The second tool we have is
2.) Provoking (arouse, stimulate, inspire) your husband to love and good works by maturing in your own relationship with Christ. As God works in your life He can channel His love and Himself through you in unique and life-changing ways to your husband. Allow God to change you, and your husband will change in reaction!
In the assignement section of the booklet they advise you make a list of your expectations of your husband and then deliberately give all those to God and allow Him to give them back to you as He sees fit. I've done this several times and have been blessed to feel freed up in my spirit to not require things of my husband but just be grateful for the multitude of things I already have in, through and from him.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Master of Scrabble
Do you like "Scrabble"? Are you good at it? Do you initiate this game in the evenings (or anytime of day for that matter) with your husband? Is it something you look forward to and try to "get better" at? Do you think of new ways to "win"? Is it something you think about and try to keep exciting? Or is it something that has become a ho-hum routine? Are you open to different ideas, or does venturing out scare you a bit? Most importantly, are you and your husband perfectly satisfied with this "game" or is there room for improvement? If Scrabble has become a predictable 10:00pm game that neither of you is too thrilled about anymore, may I suggest you delve into your creative side and try to liven things up? Any attempt you make I'm sure will be appreciated.
I also suggest you re-evaluate some of your "hang-ups". For example, I always thought a certain type of "dance" (I must be delicate for there are others who read these post and I don't want to present a stumbling block or offend) was wrong because it was always associated with sinful atmospheres and activities. When I actually stopped to think it through I realized that I was judging the circumstances and not the actual act itself. So many things are good in marriage but have become tainted because the world has abused them and used it out of context and in sinful situations.
If you struggle, like I do, with getting creative, I suggest checking this website out that I have added as a link under the "More Tips for Wives" column entitled "How Holy Wives Express Marital Love". Especially navigate to the pages "How to Thrill Your Husband" and "The Spice of Life". I haven't read everything on their website, but what I have I absolute love. If you are sensitive to this kind of subject being written/read about in detail, please pray before checking this website out. I hate to offend anyone, but I feel like this website did a beautiful job in addressing very specific issues with a very real and Biblical point of view. While what I've read I have really agreed with, I haven't perused the entire contents, so I am not necessarily endorsing everything. Please understand that everything must be taken before the Lord personally to see if this is His will for your marriage. Everyone has a different type of marriage and relationship with their husbands, so ultimately everything should be brought before the Lord and used with His guidance and wisdom in every situation.
Hope you find many, many more ways to play Scrabble and enjoy it!
I also suggest you re-evaluate some of your "hang-ups". For example, I always thought a certain type of "dance" (I must be delicate for there are others who read these post and I don't want to present a stumbling block or offend) was wrong because it was always associated with sinful atmospheres and activities. When I actually stopped to think it through I realized that I was judging the circumstances and not the actual act itself. So many things are good in marriage but have become tainted because the world has abused them and used it out of context and in sinful situations.
If you struggle, like I do, with getting creative, I suggest checking this website out that I have added as a link under the "More Tips for Wives" column entitled "How Holy Wives Express Marital Love". Especially navigate to the pages "How to Thrill Your Husband" and "The Spice of Life". I haven't read everything on their website, but what I have I absolute love. If you are sensitive to this kind of subject being written/read about in detail, please pray before checking this website out. I hate to offend anyone, but I feel like this website did a beautiful job in addressing very specific issues with a very real and Biblical point of view. While what I've read I have really agreed with, I haven't perused the entire contents, so I am not necessarily endorsing everything. Please understand that everything must be taken before the Lord personally to see if this is His will for your marriage. Everyone has a different type of marriage and relationship with their husbands, so ultimately everything should be brought before the Lord and used with His guidance and wisdom in every situation.
Hope you find many, many more ways to play Scrabble and enjoy it!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Submission: Phase 2
Here is another selection from the booklet I've been going through.
Why we should not try to change our husbands
1. Genuine change is internal and is the work of God. When a woman tries to change her husband she is actually showing a lack of faith and trust in her heavenly Father. When a woman tries her own methods she effectively blocks God's pressure.
2. A woman who uses her own wisdom and methods in an attempt to change her husband destroys harmony and communion with both her husband and God. A woman who steps in God's place and tries to change her husband becomes a wedge between her husband and God. It actually hinders God's working in her husband's wife.
3. A woman's pressure doesn't work. It can even make the problem worse.
a.) A man (or woman for that matter) tends to fight his conscience. If a woman becomes her husband's conscience he will fight her and resent her. Instead of seeing his guilt he will see her sin (stepping out of the position God has placed and judging him) and justify his own actions by blaming her.
b.)A woman who attempts to change her husband usurps his authority and therefore is sinning against God and her husband.
c.)A woman who attempts to change her husband becomes a mother or teacher rather then lover. Check your love life for signs of this. A woman who doesn't respect her husband cannot develop true intimacy with her husband. A man who feels mothered rather than respected cannot feel fulfilled intimately either and it can be cause for temptations.
d.) In most cases a man already knows his own faults and sins unless he has a blind spot. However, he wants and needs respect and wants his wife to focus on his good traits and praise him rather than correct, rebuke or condemn.
This is yet another section from the booklet "A Woman More Precious then Jewels". I have to say that when I first was married I struggled with the idea of not trying to change my husband. I thought if there were sin that I saw in his life or some sort of error it was my job as his wife and friend to help him see this. Now, I think that there can be a right way to do this. With much prayer, right timing and a humble, servant's attitude it might be effective. However, it really depends on the husband, the relationship, the wife's history (has she struggle with a similar sin and now is condemning him?), etc. For me personally I have noticed that our marriage is much more harmonious and joyful when I leave the correcting up to God and love my husband for who he is. When I chose to focus on his good traits (and he is just overflowing with them) I am able to sincerely respect him and enjoy the intimate relationship God intends in marriage. I have a truly wonderful husband who's few faults are far outweighed by his virtues. However, if I focus on one of his faults, suddenly all his good attributes are forgotten and that one fault is glaring. I cannot be the loving, respectful wife God commands me to be when this is my attitude and mindset. I would encourage all wives to be much more loving (love covers a multitude of sins) and a lot less critical. Try to leave the things that bother you or even hurt you in God's hands. Take that step of faith by not doing anything, but simply be the wife God calls you to be in scripture (Eph 5:22-33, 1 Pet 3:1-7 & Col 3:18-19). By obeying the scriptural commands for wives there will be nothing you can be blamed for and your husband will be able to distinguish God's conviction from your own condemnation. Trust that God loves you and your husband enough to work effectively in his life and yours without your interference.
Why we should not try to change our husbands
1. Genuine change is internal and is the work of God. When a woman tries to change her husband she is actually showing a lack of faith and trust in her heavenly Father. When a woman tries her own methods she effectively blocks God's pressure.
2. A woman who uses her own wisdom and methods in an attempt to change her husband destroys harmony and communion with both her husband and God. A woman who steps in God's place and tries to change her husband becomes a wedge between her husband and God. It actually hinders God's working in her husband's wife.
3. A woman's pressure doesn't work. It can even make the problem worse.
a.) A man (or woman for that matter) tends to fight his conscience. If a woman becomes her husband's conscience he will fight her and resent her. Instead of seeing his guilt he will see her sin (stepping out of the position God has placed and judging him) and justify his own actions by blaming her.
b.)A woman who attempts to change her husband usurps his authority and therefore is sinning against God and her husband.
c.)A woman who attempts to change her husband becomes a mother or teacher rather then lover. Check your love life for signs of this. A woman who doesn't respect her husband cannot develop true intimacy with her husband. A man who feels mothered rather than respected cannot feel fulfilled intimately either and it can be cause for temptations.
d.) In most cases a man already knows his own faults and sins unless he has a blind spot. However, he wants and needs respect and wants his wife to focus on his good traits and praise him rather than correct, rebuke or condemn.
This is yet another section from the booklet "A Woman More Precious then Jewels". I have to say that when I first was married I struggled with the idea of not trying to change my husband. I thought if there were sin that I saw in his life or some sort of error it was my job as his wife and friend to help him see this. Now, I think that there can be a right way to do this. With much prayer, right timing and a humble, servant's attitude it might be effective. However, it really depends on the husband, the relationship, the wife's history (has she struggle with a similar sin and now is condemning him?), etc. For me personally I have noticed that our marriage is much more harmonious and joyful when I leave the correcting up to God and love my husband for who he is. When I chose to focus on his good traits (and he is just overflowing with them) I am able to sincerely respect him and enjoy the intimate relationship God intends in marriage. I have a truly wonderful husband who's few faults are far outweighed by his virtues. However, if I focus on one of his faults, suddenly all his good attributes are forgotten and that one fault is glaring. I cannot be the loving, respectful wife God commands me to be when this is my attitude and mindset. I would encourage all wives to be much more loving (love covers a multitude of sins) and a lot less critical. Try to leave the things that bother you or even hurt you in God's hands. Take that step of faith by not doing anything, but simply be the wife God calls you to be in scripture (Eph 5:22-33, 1 Pet 3:1-7 & Col 3:18-19). By obeying the scriptural commands for wives there will be nothing you can be blamed for and your husband will be able to distinguish God's conviction from your own condemnation. Trust that God loves you and your husband enough to work effectively in his life and yours without your interference.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Submission: Phase One
In the Bible study I am going through I've come across the chapter on submission. This was just riddled with truths and convicting points. I would like to share some, but there was so much that I think I will have to make several installments. So here is what I like to call phase one:
1. Submission means accept my husband as he is
We are not supposed to make our husbands good, but happy. Making him good is God's job and working of the Holy Spirit. Do you really think it will last if a change comes through our coercing, nagging, encouraging, if our Lord has not worked on his heart to change from the inside out?
Agape love means to accept and love others just as they are, including our husbands. Just as God loves the sinner but hates the sin, we can love those around us, but not condone their sins. This actually can free a wife up to be able to simply love without making judgment calls on her husband.
True submission means we accept our husbands exactly the way they are and don't try to change them through our own obvious or sly methods. We are usurping authority over him and God if we begin to try to change our husbands.
I'm very thankful to have a husband that is easy to submit to. While not perfect, my husband exemplifies a loving, caring and sensitive husband that seeks the Lord and His will for our life and marriage. I have it very easy for the most part, but still there are times I struggle with submission. Going through this chapter, I felt convicted on almost every point. Thank the Lord that He is always forgiving and able to change and mold me into His image and what He wants for me to be as my husband's wife.
Note: The title of this booklet is "A Woman More Precious Than Jewels" by Bonnie Trude. I didn't notice a copyright, but it does say all right reserved and I cannot reprint or duplicate it without written permission. I will try to contact the author, but in the meantime I am sharing much or this by trying to put it into my own words without losing the points.
1. Submission means accept my husband as he is
We are not supposed to make our husbands good, but happy. Making him good is God's job and working of the Holy Spirit. Do you really think it will last if a change comes through our coercing, nagging, encouraging, if our Lord has not worked on his heart to change from the inside out?
Agape love means to accept and love others just as they are, including our husbands. Just as God loves the sinner but hates the sin, we can love those around us, but not condone their sins. This actually can free a wife up to be able to simply love without making judgment calls on her husband.
True submission means we accept our husbands exactly the way they are and don't try to change them through our own obvious or sly methods. We are usurping authority over him and God if we begin to try to change our husbands.
I'm very thankful to have a husband that is easy to submit to. While not perfect, my husband exemplifies a loving, caring and sensitive husband that seeks the Lord and His will for our life and marriage. I have it very easy for the most part, but still there are times I struggle with submission. Going through this chapter, I felt convicted on almost every point. Thank the Lord that He is always forgiving and able to change and mold me into His image and what He wants for me to be as my husband's wife.
Note: The title of this booklet is "A Woman More Precious Than Jewels" by Bonnie Trude. I didn't notice a copyright, but it does say all right reserved and I cannot reprint or duplicate it without written permission. I will try to contact the author, but in the meantime I am sharing much or this by trying to put it into my own words without losing the points.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Two Keys
My sister-in-law had given me a small booklet a long time ago. It was entitled "More Precious Than Jewels" and it was a handbook to be used along with a seminar or a women's Bible study. It was also just good alone for food for thought. She gave it to me right before I got married. Figuring I pretty much knew all there was to know about submission and honoring, etc, I skipped ahead to the one area that was foreign to me. (ahem...) Not till a few days ago while purging our book collection did I stumble upon this booklet again. This time I opened it and started at chapter one - not seven. :)
God has recently been exposing so many areas in my life when I have fallen shamefully short of his requirements as a wife. While I always view these times as ultimately for my good, they have not been pleasant to say the least. Mostly, God has been graciously humbling me to see all my faults that I, through my biased vision, have been unable to discern. My sins are great indeed. I've seen so many areas that I have not given to the Lord and have been trying to control through my own wisdom.
Beginning to read through this "Bible study" booklet has helped to confirm what is constantly a head knowledge, but not always quite a heart knowledge. The lady begins by reiterating the two keys that must be ever present to have a fulfilling life, marriage and relationships with those around us. I thought I'd share the two keys with you. Let's prayerfully consider these and strive to continue in these truths.
1st Key: Let Christ live His life through me -
a. We cannot imitate God's ideal. Without Christ we can do nothing. God can make His ideal a reality in and through me. (Jn. 15:5, Phil 2:12-13, Phil 4:13 & I Thess 5:24)
b. He must first be in me if His is going to manifest Himself through me. This comes by having a vital personal relationship and fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ. (Rev 3:20, Eph 2:8-9, Rom 10:9-10, Jn 1:12)
c. We must choose to make ourselves available to Him, trust Him and actively obey Him. (Gal 2:20, Rom 12:1-2, Rom 6:11-13, Heb 11:6, Jn 14:15, I Jn 3:28, Rom 6:16)
2nd Key: Desire to have a growing love relationship with Jesus Christ
a. having a progressively deeper, richer and more intimate union and communion with Jesus in order to really know Him in our own personal experience.
b. knowing Him on this intimate level means spending time and concentrating on Him throughout our day.
And by following these two keys we automatically are pleasing our Lord and also our husbands!
I will probably be sharing some of my thoughts as I go through this self appointed Bible study with myself and my Lord. :) Please share insights and advice as the Lord leads. Thanks!
God has recently been exposing so many areas in my life when I have fallen shamefully short of his requirements as a wife. While I always view these times as ultimately for my good, they have not been pleasant to say the least. Mostly, God has been graciously humbling me to see all my faults that I, through my biased vision, have been unable to discern. My sins are great indeed. I've seen so many areas that I have not given to the Lord and have been trying to control through my own wisdom.
Beginning to read through this "Bible study" booklet has helped to confirm what is constantly a head knowledge, but not always quite a heart knowledge. The lady begins by reiterating the two keys that must be ever present to have a fulfilling life, marriage and relationships with those around us. I thought I'd share the two keys with you. Let's prayerfully consider these and strive to continue in these truths.
1st Key: Let Christ live His life through me -
a. We cannot imitate God's ideal. Without Christ we can do nothing. God can make His ideal a reality in and through me. (Jn. 15:5, Phil 2:12-13, Phil 4:13 & I Thess 5:24)
b. He must first be in me if His is going to manifest Himself through me. This comes by having a vital personal relationship and fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ. (Rev 3:20, Eph 2:8-9, Rom 10:9-10, Jn 1:12)
c. We must choose to make ourselves available to Him, trust Him and actively obey Him. (Gal 2:20, Rom 12:1-2, Rom 6:11-13, Heb 11:6, Jn 14:15, I Jn 3:28, Rom 6:16)
2nd Key: Desire to have a growing love relationship with Jesus Christ
a. having a progressively deeper, richer and more intimate union and communion with Jesus in order to really know Him in our own personal experience.
b. knowing Him on this intimate level means spending time and concentrating on Him throughout our day.
And by following these two keys we automatically are pleasing our Lord and also our husbands!
I will probably be sharing some of my thoughts as I go through this self appointed Bible study with myself and my Lord. :) Please share insights and advice as the Lord leads. Thanks!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
New Neighbors?
Got new neighbors? We do! So I decided to bake up a delicious pumpkin roll and introduce myself and the kids. I've finished the baking and will go over hopefully today if the weather permits. I am totally a non-outgoing person, so it's a big step for me, but I know it'd bless me if someone did it for me. So as a tip be aware of those around you and little ways you can bless others. Holding the door for someone even if you're in a hurry, letting a mother with her screaming baby go ahead of you in a line, mailing or emailing someone a get-well note. I'm sure this is probably everyday stuff for a lot of you, but some people (like myself) need to be reminded from time to time to look outside my little box to see those around me who could use a hand or a smile.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Valentine's Surprise
Valentine's is just around the corner. Instead of wondering (or assuming) what your husband might be cooking up for you, turn things around. Take control and view this holiday as a day to totally please and delight your man.
Forget flowers, chocolate, music and cute lingerie. Go totally daring and shock him. (Make sure you choose something that won't be offensive or uncomfortable to him, though. That isn't gonna be a problem generally, but be sensitive to your husband.) Be aggressive and fun. Totally wow and captivate him with your desire for him and willingness to please him. Is there something you or he or both of you have wondered about trying out? Prayerfully consider if this would be an appropriate time to try it out. Prayer is so important because what could be fun to one might be offensive to the other. Yes, I'm am talking about sex. I don't want to get too detailed because it is such a private, personal issue between couples and I'm sure I get single readers on this blog as well. But, this is a blog about wives and we can't ignore this paramount issue in our marriages.
Spice it up. While you're thinking of the romantic evening and the music and the candlelight dinner, he is definitely wondering and hoping for other things as well. Don't disappoint - rather keep him guessing what you're going to do next! Don't set goals like I want to wear that or fit into that for Valentines. Forget those extra pounds and flaunt what you have tastefully. I think a man would appreciate a fun and engaging woman who has a few pounds to spare rather than a woman who is so concerned with her appearance she no longer looks appealing because of her worries and concerns despite her figure.
To be perfectly honest, my husband always finds me a lot more attractive when I throw caution to the wind and enjoy that second piece of pizza or have a piece of chocolate without those degrading remarks like, "I know I shouldn't" when I'm with him. (I try to be more careful just on a daily basis, of course. :)
I hope I've inspired and not shocked or offended anyone. None of this has to cost a thing if you're creative. And if you're not naturally creative (I'm not) you can carefully screen the internet for romantic, seductive ideas.
Happy Valentines Day!
Forget flowers, chocolate, music and cute lingerie. Go totally daring and shock him. (Make sure you choose something that won't be offensive or uncomfortable to him, though. That isn't gonna be a problem generally, but be sensitive to your husband.) Be aggressive and fun. Totally wow and captivate him with your desire for him and willingness to please him. Is there something you or he or both of you have wondered about trying out? Prayerfully consider if this would be an appropriate time to try it out. Prayer is so important because what could be fun to one might be offensive to the other. Yes, I'm am talking about sex. I don't want to get too detailed because it is such a private, personal issue between couples and I'm sure I get single readers on this blog as well. But, this is a blog about wives and we can't ignore this paramount issue in our marriages.
Spice it up. While you're thinking of the romantic evening and the music and the candlelight dinner, he is definitely wondering and hoping for other things as well. Don't disappoint - rather keep him guessing what you're going to do next! Don't set goals like I want to wear that or fit into that for Valentines. Forget those extra pounds and flaunt what you have tastefully. I think a man would appreciate a fun and engaging woman who has a few pounds to spare rather than a woman who is so concerned with her appearance she no longer looks appealing because of her worries and concerns despite her figure.
To be perfectly honest, my husband always finds me a lot more attractive when I throw caution to the wind and enjoy that second piece of pizza or have a piece of chocolate without those degrading remarks like, "I know I shouldn't" when I'm with him. (I try to be more careful just on a daily basis, of course. :)
I hope I've inspired and not shocked or offended anyone. None of this has to cost a thing if you're creative. And if you're not naturally creative (I'm not) you can carefully screen the internet for romantic, seductive ideas.
Happy Valentines Day!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Spiritual Criticism
I believe that many, many, many, many, MANY women struggle with judging their husbands spiritual actions or lack thereof. I know I have and still do at times. I think we have to realize that while we may hold certain standards or personal preferences about things (choice of how to spend one's leisure time, how to deal with sticky situations, what movies to show the children, if any, etc) that these are personal and should not be considered "convictions" to be placed on your husband. He has his own relationship with the Lord and we don't need to be "helping" God by show our husband his errors and encouraging him to adopt our "holier" ways. I think it gets messy when a wife has certain preferences that suddenly become her "convictions" because they are more "spiritual". (We should go to the Bible study instead of stay at home and watch a movie.) Then, the husband appears to be the less spiritual one because he would like to spend some fun time with his wife rather than go to a Bible study. (Just FYI, this is a theoretical example and does not reflect my relationship with Seth. :) The woman feels like he isn't being a spiritual leader and the man feels like his spiritual leadership is being challenged.
So, lets evaluate our differences with our husbands to determine if they are truly convictions or rather preferences. Obviously preferences, even if they appear more spiritual, are not things to hold on to in the face of our husband's leadership and authority. Cheerful submission is the calling for us women faced with a situation like this.
Let me give you a quite laughable scenario....
There are those who believe the woman should still be veiled. (This is not the laughable part, I personally respect this conviction very deeply.:) However, the whole point of being veiled is to show a woman's submission to her husband as her head and leader. (1Cor 11, I think.) However, there were some situations where the woman believed in the veiling and the husband didn't want her to. Oh, what to do, what to do? This to me is the comical part. The veiling is to signify the submission, so if a woman veiled against her husband's wishes she was actually not in submission and therefore in complete opposition to the heart of the scriptural command. But you see how she felt is was a conviction or at least the right thing to do, but her husband did not feel compelled? It certainly appears more spiritual to be covered or veiled, wouldn't you think? Yes, but truly an unveiled woman pleasing her husband is more right in the eyes of God than the veiled woman who is dishonoring her husband by her lack of obedience.
This certainly can be a sticky topic and I only mean to challenge us wives to make sure we are not lording our spirituality over our husbands and making him adhere to our standards if they are personal preferences and not truly convictions placed by the Holy Spirit in our hearts.
So, lets evaluate our differences with our husbands to determine if they are truly convictions or rather preferences. Obviously preferences, even if they appear more spiritual, are not things to hold on to in the face of our husband's leadership and authority. Cheerful submission is the calling for us women faced with a situation like this.
Let me give you a quite laughable scenario....
There are those who believe the woman should still be veiled. (This is not the laughable part, I personally respect this conviction very deeply.:) However, the whole point of being veiled is to show a woman's submission to her husband as her head and leader. (1Cor 11, I think.) However, there were some situations where the woman believed in the veiling and the husband didn't want her to. Oh, what to do, what to do? This to me is the comical part. The veiling is to signify the submission, so if a woman veiled against her husband's wishes she was actually not in submission and therefore in complete opposition to the heart of the scriptural command. But you see how she felt is was a conviction or at least the right thing to do, but her husband did not feel compelled? It certainly appears more spiritual to be covered or veiled, wouldn't you think? Yes, but truly an unveiled woman pleasing her husband is more right in the eyes of God than the veiled woman who is dishonoring her husband by her lack of obedience.
This certainly can be a sticky topic and I only mean to challenge us wives to make sure we are not lording our spirituality over our husbands and making him adhere to our standards if they are personal preferences and not truly convictions placed by the Holy Spirit in our hearts.
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
Did your husband make any resolutions for 2010? Try to help him achieve them any way you can. There is a line between nagging and encouraging, but I think it is essentially about the attitude. If you are encouraging and uplifting, even if he fails, he will have more resolve, but if you nag and pester he will feel justified and difficulty being motivated. You have to believe in him and that in turn will motivate and help him reach his goals. I don't think anyone flourishes under criticism, but who doesn't excel with praise and support?
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