Friday, November 13, 2009
Created to Be His Help Meet
Do yourself and your marriage a favor and buy the book "Created to Be His Help Meet" by Debbi Pearl. It is a wonderful book on setting us married women straight on a lot of issues concerning marriage. I don't agree with everything in the book, but there is so much good in it that I don't think one should throw the baby out with the bath water. I know some of their material is controversial, but a lot of what they teach is also very Biblically sound. If you own the book, it doesn't hurt to go over it again. It is one of the few books I consider necessary to reread every now and again for myself. Try to take to heart her advice, especially the ones that sting from truth! :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Aaamen! This book is so helpful. It is also straight-up, no holds barred, CONVICTION. So be prepared.
I have heard a lot of good things about this book but I didn't hear that it was controversial. What was controversial about it?
Catherine - I thought the book had a lot of good, but some negative as well. You asked! First the positive, though, b/c it's good! Here you go.... Start w/ good quotes:
- "Do you wake each morning to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability - to be his helper?"
- "He needs to hear gladness and appreciation in your voice when you speak to him..."
- "You will stand alone if you insist on standing by your rights."
- "Thankfulness is how you think..."
- "Every day I remember to view myself as the woman God gave this man."
- "...ask God for the wisdom to live each day in a state of honoring your man for God's sake." James 1:5-7
- "Any time you are showing irritation and blame toward others, keep in mind that the earth is disquieted due to your being an odious married woman." (expanding on Prov 30:21-23 - God is not letting me by with irritation with my husband or children, no matter the circumstances)
Negatives:
-Some of her advice/methods for motivating you to obey your husband are out of fear (he'll leave you, he'll find another woman,
- She draws unbiblical conclusions & uses those to create fear about what women's calling is (For example, she shares a story of a woman who left her baby for a little while to help her husband in ministry, & the child was molested. Moral of story? Don't leave your children ever. They're your calling.)
- She defines "helpmeet" in a physical sense (cooking, cleaning,intimacy) but neglects the spiritual side (encouragement, ministry assistance, Biblical correction).
- She advocates a woman only questioning or correcting her husband over extremely serious sin (& I don't remember a place for Matthew 18 type of correction even mentioned - if he sins, we just have to go to God was her stance I think).
Personally, we have found the most joy and fulfillment when we are both diligently seeking God and our lives are overflowing with the contentment and peace THAT produces. It saddened me how the book left how an individual and a couple's relationship with God is key to marriage. I think the author has that herself, but not understanding its importance leaves the book lacking.
The books will help rescue you from critical, self-serving, and fearful thoughts, words and actions if you let it.
I agree with Karen, read it. Just read it with discernment.
Good point by point analysis, Denise. I agree. To summarize, I would say this book has some very poignant *practical* things to add some light to any wife's daily role (especially in a world full of confusion on the definition of "helpmeet"), but it definitely lacks in the spiritual/emotional side of the marriage relationship. I found that when I first read the book, I was inspired to "just do it" ALL...everything in the book. It resulted in me withdrawing somewhat from my husband into these theories, tasks, and determination to see "results", and I found my joy depleted in so much "methodology." However, once I bathed myself in prayer, and regained that joy in companionship, the practical advice still lingered as part of my life. Just remember while you read it, that God divinely brought you two together for more than just fulfilling earthly roles as Husband and Wife. You are to be a shining image of Christ and the church. Plus, you just LOVE the man! :)
Catherine,
I agree with the comments Denise and Susi placed about some of the controversies regarding this book. Plus I've talked with women who really have a big problem with how far she takes the idea of submission. Also, I personally disagree with some of the advice they gave women who were writing about problems they were experiencing with their husbands.
The Pearls have a very proud way of writing. It's either their way or it is wrong. Much of their material and the advice they give is right dead on, but it can be so cut and dry that it leaves little room for the Holy Spirit to work in each unique situations.
Overall, it is a beautiful book that really "spanks" you in order to open your eyes to see how many of your actions and attitudes can be tearing down your marriage and offers very practical ways to improve it.
Post a Comment