Talkin 'Bout My Man

I'm trying to think of some applicable posts during the holiday season. I thought since most of us will be around lots of family and friends, many of whom might not be saved, this might be a good one.

My mother used to share with us how when she was a young married woman attending special occasions and events all the ladies of the family (or friends, too) would get together and start bad-mouthing their husbands. I don't think it was planned, it was just a natural thing to do. Start complaining. My mother said she noticed this and wouldn't join in. In fact she would start telling all the good things about her husband. I think some of those ladies actually thought something was wrong with her, but she was being a witness and standing by her man.

I've noticed it is so true that when women get together they begin to talk about their problems, usually involving their husbands. I really don't think it is in their hearts to put their man down. A lot of times it is a casual comment dropped here and there or a laughing remark about how their husband does this or won't do that. It's not malicious, just "sharing". But that kind of sharing can lead to a downward spiral of negative comments and feelings towards your husband. If done with a complaining or discontented heart it doesn't edify and actually is disrespectful to him. I can tend to do this when I am around other women. I'm not trying to down my husband, but in trying to commiserate with these women ("My husband never changes the baby's diaper." "Yeah, Seth doesn't like to do that either. He's probably done it less than blah blah times.")I find myself falling into the trap of complaining.

I guess there is a balance, though. A balance between being real and realistic as opposed to sharing character flaws and degrading your man. I think in our heart we know whether we are just making a comment or saying something to get sympathy or to complain. And I do believe there are times women can share struggles they are going through concerning their husband with a godly friend or mentor. But like I mention before it is what is in the heart. Are you trying to share something to entice pity for you and indignation towards your husband or are you truly seeking helpful advice or godly comfort?

So, when family and friends get together and begin to "share", be on guard for those attitudes. Maybe it'd be better to share the positive things about your husband that you appreciate. Harmless comments here and there are all very well, but watch out for the unnecessary comments that don't serve to do any good and leave others with a worse opinion of your husband than before.