Submission - Phase 3

What can a wife do to change her husband?

This is another section from the booklet I've been reading. This probably doesn't apply to most of us reading this. I know a lot of us are blessed to have husbands that actively love and serve the Lord, but it could prove useful to the wife who's husband is either not saved or perhaps not walking circumspectly as he should before the Lord. The same principles can be applied in smaller circumstances, too, so it can be beneficial for all wives at some point in their marriage to be aware of these helpful tips.

There are two powerful tools God has given a woman to use in order to assist God in changing her husband.

1.) Prayer - of course! I'm often surprised at my using this as a last resort rather than a first. It shows my true level of faith and reliance on God. You can bring all your desires before the Lord, wrong or right, and He will change them, sort them, fulfill them, bless them or do whatever He wants to do with them. I've realized that even some of my very selfish desires can be brought before the Lord and I am surprised by His answers. (Not always a "yes", but sometimes seeing things from a new perspective or changing my desires.) Think of your child who asks for ice cream. Well, we don't always say no, do we? But we don't say they can have it for breakfast either, right?

a. Bringing problems before the Lord helps get our eyes off the problem or the man and onto the Lord. He in turn can replace bitterness or hurt with a proper perspective. One thing is to realize that this "problem" is also used to work in your life and build character in you. Also, thank the Lord for your husband's faults. I Thess 5:18 and Eph 5:20

b. Prayer helps you expect changes from God rather than from your husband. This creates a grateful attitude in the woman towards the Lord and her husband. She no longer sees her husband's good attitudes and actions as things he is expected to do, but as a gift from the Lord and she becomes grateful towards both Father and husband. This also frees up God to work in her husband and frees her husband up from her expectations.

c. Realize that you have the privilege of interceding for your husband. When we detect a problem, our reaction should not be to criticize or judge, but intercede. A wife can "stand in the gap" for her husband. Even when a man is in fellowship with the Lord he still needs his wife's supporting intercession. Also, lack of prayer can limit God's blessings.

d. Prayer can really change your attitude. It is so true! How can you harbor bitterness or unforgiveness when you are turning it all over to the Lord?

e. Prayer is also ensuring that you are in God's will. No matter what you're feeling, planning, wanting, etc, if you place it in God's hands there will be peace, answers, blessing and fulfillment.

The second tool we have is

2.) Provoking (arouse, stimulate, inspire) your husband to love and good works by maturing in your own relationship with Christ. As God works in your life He can channel His love and Himself through you in unique and life-changing ways to your husband. Allow God to change you, and your husband will change in reaction!

In the assignement section of the booklet they advise you make a list of your expectations of your husband and then deliberately give all those to God and allow Him to give them back to you as He sees fit. I've done this several times and have been blessed to feel freed up in my spirit to not require things of my husband but just be grateful for the multitude of things I already have in, through and from him.