Spring Cleaning

As you tackle Spring cleaning this year, try to take special notice of "his area" (you know, wallet, car keys, misc guy stuff) and respect his wishes. If he doesn't want it moved or touched, let it be. If he'd appreciate your womanly skills, take special care to incorporate his preferences and convenience rather than your taste in how it should look. Also, think of way you can help him keep it organized. One year I got my husband a handsome wooden holder with dividers to keep things organized. ( It's actually not utilized by him anymore, but has become a junk stash, thanks to me. It was a good idea, though. :) Small deeds speak love too, so don't overlook the details.

Surprise, surprise

Do you ever have an urge to do something that would really surprise and bless you husband, but then think twice about it? Yeah, me too. Just tonight my husband was going to an MMA fight here in Danville. I casually thought it'd be fun to go, but I hadn't set up any babysitters or anything. When he left I realized how sad I was that I couldn't be with him. I quickly contrived a plan and got the wheels in motion. I tempted my wonderfully accommodating sister and future brother-in-law with the promise if dinner and even payment if they'd put the girls down and stay here while I was at the fight with Seth. I mentioned nothing to Seth about it at all. I didn't leave till Michael was sound asleep and things were well on their way with the girls's night time routine. I drive out there and purchased my ticket and then finally when I was literally standing at the door, I sent Seth a provocative message implying I was there. We had such a good time together and enjoyed the bouts. I'm so glad I decided to do it despite the second thoughts I had going through my head. Everything went smoothly and it turned out to be great! I guess I'm sharing all this to encourage you to not always feel like you can't take a little risk and surprise your husband with something totally unexpected that would really bless him. Both he and your marriage are worth it!

Keep Those Home Fires Burning

Sometimes during the journey of marriage, we find that our passion has taken a backseat to other things. Often it is legitimate like a sickness or an important responsibility that can't be ignored, a few days of schedules being out of sync with each other's, big life changes (moving, baby's birth, death in the family, etc.) But if you don't take an effort to try to rekindle that passion once the distraction is out of the way, you can fall into a habit of being a little more "comfortable" and a little less passionate. I view this mindset as just another nail in the coffin of marriage that Satan is trying to kill anyway. If I get comfortable with being less passionate and fun, it is another step I'm taking to become that old married couple that tolerates each other, but doesn't enjoy one another. So, make a special effort to reclaim what you just had to temporarily set aside. If you plan ahead, you can really surprise and wow your husband and get the wheels turning again in the right direction.

Playing Nurse

Take care of your husband's injuries, large or small. My husband is in construction and is always coming home with cuts and bruises all over his body. He is a big tough man, so I don't always care for his injuries like I should. I'm not as diligent in treating them as I would the children's boo-boos. Even though Seth doesn't make a big deal about them, he really appreciates when I do make an effort to treat his wounds. It shows my concern and care for him. Guys generally won't do much beyond a bandaid, so some attention to bug bites, rashes, cuts and even bruises can help speed the healing. Plus I don't need to tell you how fun it can be to play nurse to your patient. ;)

One Little Compliment

Next time your out and about shopping, running errands, etc try to make an effort to notice one person you come in contact with and give them a sincere compliment. Not so much, "I like that dress" or "Cool nail polish", but maybe more on a deeper level. Things like, "Thank you for being so careful in bagging my bread separately", or "It is so nice to see a smiling face." Compliments can be amazing. They don't take much effort, yet they can completely make someone's day and turn a whole attitude and perspective around. Try to touch someone else's life in a positive way. Be the light and the salt!

Submission - Phase 3

What can a wife do to change her husband?

This is another section from the booklet I've been reading. This probably doesn't apply to most of us reading this. I know a lot of us are blessed to have husbands that actively love and serve the Lord, but it could prove useful to the wife who's husband is either not saved or perhaps not walking circumspectly as he should before the Lord. The same principles can be applied in smaller circumstances, too, so it can be beneficial for all wives at some point in their marriage to be aware of these helpful tips.

There are two powerful tools God has given a woman to use in order to assist God in changing her husband.

1.) Prayer - of course! I'm often surprised at my using this as a last resort rather than a first. It shows my true level of faith and reliance on God. You can bring all your desires before the Lord, wrong or right, and He will change them, sort them, fulfill them, bless them or do whatever He wants to do with them. I've realized that even some of my very selfish desires can be brought before the Lord and I am surprised by His answers. (Not always a "yes", but sometimes seeing things from a new perspective or changing my desires.) Think of your child who asks for ice cream. Well, we don't always say no, do we? But we don't say they can have it for breakfast either, right?

a. Bringing problems before the Lord helps get our eyes off the problem or the man and onto the Lord. He in turn can replace bitterness or hurt with a proper perspective. One thing is to realize that this "problem" is also used to work in your life and build character in you. Also, thank the Lord for your husband's faults. I Thess 5:18 and Eph 5:20

b. Prayer helps you expect changes from God rather than from your husband. This creates a grateful attitude in the woman towards the Lord and her husband. She no longer sees her husband's good attitudes and actions as things he is expected to do, but as a gift from the Lord and she becomes grateful towards both Father and husband. This also frees up God to work in her husband and frees her husband up from her expectations.

c. Realize that you have the privilege of interceding for your husband. When we detect a problem, our reaction should not be to criticize or judge, but intercede. A wife can "stand in the gap" for her husband. Even when a man is in fellowship with the Lord he still needs his wife's supporting intercession. Also, lack of prayer can limit God's blessings.

d. Prayer can really change your attitude. It is so true! How can you harbor bitterness or unforgiveness when you are turning it all over to the Lord?

e. Prayer is also ensuring that you are in God's will. No matter what you're feeling, planning, wanting, etc, if you place it in God's hands there will be peace, answers, blessing and fulfillment.

The second tool we have is

2.) Provoking (arouse, stimulate, inspire) your husband to love and good works by maturing in your own relationship with Christ. As God works in your life He can channel His love and Himself through you in unique and life-changing ways to your husband. Allow God to change you, and your husband will change in reaction!

In the assignement section of the booklet they advise you make a list of your expectations of your husband and then deliberately give all those to God and allow Him to give them back to you as He sees fit. I've done this several times and have been blessed to feel freed up in my spirit to not require things of my husband but just be grateful for the multitude of things I already have in, through and from him.

Master of Scrabble

Do you like "Scrabble"? Are you good at it? Do you initiate this game in the evenings (or anytime of day for that matter) with your husband? Is it something you look forward to and try to "get better" at? Do you think of new ways to "win"? Is it something you think about and try to keep exciting? Or is it something that has become a ho-hum routine? Are you open to different ideas, or does venturing out scare you a bit? Most importantly, are you and your husband perfectly satisfied with this "game" or is there room for improvement? If Scrabble has become a predictable 10:00pm game that neither of you is too thrilled about anymore, may I suggest you delve into your creative side and try to liven things up? Any attempt you make I'm sure will be appreciated.

I also suggest you re-evaluate some of your "hang-ups". For example, I always thought a certain type of "dance" (I must be delicate for there are others who read these post and I don't want to present a stumbling block or offend) was wrong because it was always associated with sinful atmospheres and activities. When I actually stopped to think it through I realized that I was judging the circumstances and not the actual act itself. So many things are good in marriage but have become tainted because the world has abused them and used it out of context and in sinful situations.

If you struggle, like I do, with getting creative, I suggest checking this website out that I have added as a link under the "More Tips for Wives" column entitled "How Holy Wives Express Marital Love". Especially navigate to the pages "How to Thrill Your Husband" and "The Spice of Life". I haven't read everything on their website, but what I have I absolute love. If you are sensitive to this kind of subject being written/read about in detail, please pray before checking this website out. I hate to offend anyone, but I feel like this website did a beautiful job in addressing very specific issues with a very real and Biblical point of view. While what I've read I have really agreed with, I haven't perused the entire contents, so I am not necessarily endorsing everything. Please understand that everything must be taken before the Lord personally to see if this is His will for your marriage. Everyone has a different type of marriage and relationship with their husbands, so ultimately everything should be brought before the Lord and used with His guidance and wisdom in every situation.

Hope you find many, many more ways to play Scrabble and enjoy it!