Flash Him

Note: this post is not intended for single women

Get in the habit of flashing you husband frequently, but be unpredictable. It doesn't have to be just up top. Flashing a bit of skin other places is erotic, too. Of course, with children around you must use discretion, caution and a lot of creativity, but I'm sure your man would love to see you flirt that way with him. It's so worth it to see the jaw drop out of sheer shock and enjoyment. :)

Asking Forgiveness

I think it is important for children to see our personal walks with the Lord reflected in our daily lives. If we have struggles that are appropriate to share with them we can ask them to help us by reminding us. It also goes for when we fail - especially in front of or towards them. I think it is important to ask their forgiveness and explain what we did wrong, why it wasn't pleasing to the Lord and what we should have done. I usually go through these steps with my children when they have sinned. I asked them what they did wrong, why it wasn't pleasing to the Lord (using scripture, usually) and what they should have done instead. I often help them with the "correct" answers, but provide time for them to reply with their own ideas first. Anyway, if I've lost my temper, or been disrespectful to their Daddy or something else, not only does the offended person deserve an apology, but I try to apologize to the children for my bad example and explain everything to them. This, I hope, will be an example for them in the future to be able to apply to themselves without my needed intervention.

Coupon Savings

Well, I decided to give a little tip for this year's Christmas gift giving. It does have to do with coupons, but it's not what you think. I'm taking this in a different direction.

Since being married to Seth and him being the one and only bread winner in this family I have always felt silly buying him gifts because it is all his money anyway! Christmas would roll around and I would not have gotten him anything. I would just tell him to please feel free to splurge and get yourself something you really want. Don't feel guilt spending the extra money, yada yada yada. Seth could care less about gifts, so I don't think it really offended him, but now that we've been married over 6 years I feel a lot more confident in gift buying - both with purchasing and with the purchase it's self. However, some years are tighter than others and this is something I did one year when I still didn't feel the liberty to just spend his money on gifts for him.

I created a hand made coupon book. No, not those kinds of coupons! I made about 15 different "freebies" for him to use up as he liked. It ranged anywhere from a free hot drink or a full body massage (given by myself, of course!) You can make it as practical and/or as sensual as you want (or rather, as he'd like:). I also added two blank coupons for something he might fancy that I hadn't thought of. Some more ideas are as follows:

running an errand for him when it isn't convenient for him
a personal dance performed for him
a free evening guaranteed without distractions (steal his cell phone and keep kids from calling on him)
a kiss
a dinner menu consisting of only his requests

You get the idea. This costs nothing and yet will be something special and will require love and sacrifice to pull some of them off. I told him these coupons meant he could use them whenever he wanted and I had to "redeem" the coupon immediately. I could not put it off and say I'd do it in 5 minutes or whenever convenient. They had to be performed when he desired it. I think he really enjoyed it. I might even do it again this year, despite the fact that we're not as financially tight as we have been in previous years...:)

Guy Time

I really don't hang out with many woman my age and in the same situation as I am in (married with children) so I don't know if this is something you guys may all roll your eyes at and think, "duh", but here goes...

Guys really need and enjoy "guy time" with other guys...at times. Seth and I almost always prefer to be with each other - alone. But, there are times it is fun for him to go off and watch a movie with some guys, or visit, or have them over for gaming, or what not. It's fun for him. If I gave him a guilt trip every time he left to spend some time with a friend and I was "left" to eat dinner with the kids and put them to bed and clean up all by my lonesome...sniff, sniff...I think he'd be miserable and secretly be thankful to get a break from his "contentious" wife.

It's important to treasure the time spent with your husband, but also be happy for him to be having a good time without you. (Gasp! is it possible?) Because of our situation, I need to be home with the kids and keeping house. Seth's an adventurer. An explorer. An energetic man. Staying home all the time and helping put the kids down or clean up dinner isn't always for him. (Though I'd wager he does it more than most guys and thoroughly enjoys it when it is done voluntarily.)

So, when he gets an itch to get out and do something, my response should be an enthusiastic smile and helpful hand pushing him out the door, or at least eeping the kids from going out the door with him. :) I shouldn't be selfish and feel sorry for myself, but be happy for him. That is what love is, isn't it? Besides, he always is happy for me to have opportunities to do activities and he offers to watch the kids when he can.

And if he wants to have some guys over, my job and joy should be to serve them and make it as fun and uninterrupted as possible. Make snacks, have the children behave, clean up, serve, and if Seth wants, be there with him and enjoy the fellowship and good times with "his" friends.

Ok, I'm done. :)

A Break

I know I haven't posted recently. I guess with holidays and all I've been preoccupied. Now we've taken a spur-of-the-moment trip to New Bern where there is no connection except with this iPhone. So, I will be back to posting probably the beginning of next week. For now I feel like I need to go back and review some of my earlier posts because I've felt like a failure as a wife recently! Praise God His mercies are new every morning! Great is His faithfulness!

Proper Perspective on Housekeeping

I actually "overheard" this comment made by Susi Forshey on Hosanna's blog. I thought it was so insightful and could be very encouraging to those reading this. Seems we all struggle at times with balancing housework, relationships. Anyway, here is what she said:

"See, I think this is just part of what every wife goes through after marriage. Priority-shifting. The home, the meals, the chores, the errands, the husband, the friends, the church. Which comes first? (and add to that renovations, for you!) I wish I had some pat advice to help you get it all together, but the truth is, God does have a slightly different version of this list for every woman. The main thing that I learned after cycling fruitlessly around with these priorities is: Begin your day with a humble confession of inadequacy before the Lord, give over all your tasks to Him, and ask for the earthly things not to take hold of your life, but to be consumed, still, even in the midst of it all, by the Holy Spirit. He will not fail you. He will meet you during the day, and inject order into your busy life. He has never failed me in this."

Can't add anything else to that. It's so true! Thanks Susi. :)

Talkin 'Bout My Man

I'm trying to think of some applicable posts during the holiday season. I thought since most of us will be around lots of family and friends, many of whom might not be saved, this might be a good one.

My mother used to share with us how when she was a young married woman attending special occasions and events all the ladies of the family (or friends, too) would get together and start bad-mouthing their husbands. I don't think it was planned, it was just a natural thing to do. Start complaining. My mother said she noticed this and wouldn't join in. In fact she would start telling all the good things about her husband. I think some of those ladies actually thought something was wrong with her, but she was being a witness and standing by her man.

I've noticed it is so true that when women get together they begin to talk about their problems, usually involving their husbands. I really don't think it is in their hearts to put their man down. A lot of times it is a casual comment dropped here and there or a laughing remark about how their husband does this or won't do that. It's not malicious, just "sharing". But that kind of sharing can lead to a downward spiral of negative comments and feelings towards your husband. If done with a complaining or discontented heart it doesn't edify and actually is disrespectful to him. I can tend to do this when I am around other women. I'm not trying to down my husband, but in trying to commiserate with these women ("My husband never changes the baby's diaper." "Yeah, Seth doesn't like to do that either. He's probably done it less than blah blah times.")I find myself falling into the trap of complaining.

I guess there is a balance, though. A balance between being real and realistic as opposed to sharing character flaws and degrading your man. I think in our heart we know whether we are just making a comment or saying something to get sympathy or to complain. And I do believe there are times women can share struggles they are going through concerning their husband with a godly friend or mentor. But like I mention before it is what is in the heart. Are you trying to share something to entice pity for you and indignation towards your husband or are you truly seeking helpful advice or godly comfort?

So, when family and friends get together and begin to "share", be on guard for those attitudes. Maybe it'd be better to share the positive things about your husband that you appreciate. Harmless comments here and there are all very well, but watch out for the unnecessary comments that don't serve to do any good and leave others with a worse opinion of your husband than before.